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Forgive Me, Newport



An image of me carrying my cousin on the beach during one of the many trips to Newport. As you can see, it's also very windy. Not good for pictures.

(An image of me carrying my cousin on the beach during one of many trips to Newport, sometime in the early 2000's. As you can see, it's very windy. Not good for pictures.)

"I’ve never been on vacation” is something I said for most of my childhood. I felt it was true. I knew about vacations. They were big, expensive, week-long or even multi-week adventures around the world, or at least an amusement park. You bought fancy souvenirs, ate gourmet food, and had the most fun. I grumbled the first day of school every year listening to my schoolmates describe their summer vacations.

But, if I had been really honest, I had been on vacation. A few times actually. But it was always the same smelly place: Newport, Oregon. I leaned, and sighed, and groaned through every shop I was dragged to. I had seen them all before and they never changed. Despite Oregon Beach Vacations' assertion that “Newport is a very kid-friendly town," I did not feel appealed to.

I dreamed of white sandy beaches, the sorts of places where everyone is compelled not to drop their trash. Newport’s beaches don’t have a ton of trash, trash left by humans that is. The trash of the sea, however, covers the coastline; driftwood, shell bits, and other oceanic debris are a painful reminder to wear your shoes.

The weather in Newport is often gray, just like the rest of Oregon. It had a tendency to be gray just in time for my arrival. Hence why Oregonians insist on calling their beaches “the coast,” it’s not exactly tropical.

Lastly, it really does stink. It reeks of fish all along the boardwalk in the right weather.

So, why have I been so many times?

For working-class Oregonians, Newport is vacation. It’s home-away-from-home.

The blog Rooted and Roaming explains this as a result of it’s location: “Newport Oregon is about 2.5 hours from Portland, 45 minutes from Corvallis, and 1.5 hours from Salem."


My family couldn’t afford to travel to Universal Studios or Miami. So where can you go to change scenery, is relatively inexpensive, isn’t too far away, and has lots of fun little things to do? Newport!

As an adult I’ve started calling it “doing Newport” because it’s the same set of activities every time. Go to Oregon Coast Aquarium, the Yaquina Head Lighthouse, the beach, and then do everything along Southwest Bay Boulevard.

Bay Boulevard has some recognizable classics: Jambo World Crafts, The Wax Works, Ripley’s Believe it or Not! World of Adventure, two Mo’s Seafood & Chowders, and two candy shops.

If you put aside grandiose expectations of dazzling delights in favor of good relaxing fun, try “doing Newport.” Spend a few minutes picking from 2 Kids Candy store’s more than 75 saltwater taffy flavors, including Spumoni, Coconut Curry, and Honey Lavender. At least once, forgo Mo’s famous chowder in exchange for their fish tacos.

Go to Jambo’s for a piece of everything: clothes, wallets, lotions, incense, puzzles, tapestries, blankets and more. Ogle a shrunken head at Ripley’s, and believe it or not. To come face-to-face with lifesize recreations of your favorite characters from TV and fiction, try The Wax Works. Point at sharks at the Oregon Coast Aquarium and buy a stuffed animal.

On your way out of town, get brunch at Pig n’ Pancake on U.S. Highway 101 and eat breakfast sausages wrapped in pancake. Or, just a couple blocks down the highway stop at White Rabbit Espresso and try a “Newport Fog.”

The thing about “doing Newport” is that no matter how many times I go, it’s like entering another dimension. Not a dimension with Michelin stars or roller coasters, but one without everyday worries.

Never have I ever been glaze-eyed and half-bored in Jambo’s and remembered that I have real responsibilities somewhere. THAT is what vacation is about: whatever it takes to forget real-life. Complain about the smell, get taffy stuck in your teeth, and talk about how the chowder’s only pretty good after eating it three days in a row.

Newport has a Hotel California energy with small town Oregon prices. That’s priceless.


At A Glance

Where: Newport, Oregon

What to love
: Nostalgia, Tourist attractions, Fairly walkable 

What to hate: The smell, Limited activities

Official Website: www.newportoregon.gov

Where to eat and stay: www.discovernewport.com

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