My brother was born with a facial deformity. My first peer, it never occurred to me that the way he looked was particularly unusual, not unlike a unique nose or mole. My nonchalance about it sometimes shocked others. One horrified mother’s reaction when I thoughtlessly told her I recognized her daughter, “The girl with the cleft lip!”, will forever be burned into my mind. I forgot that the distinction wasn’t usually considered as neutral as being red-headed or extra tall. After growing up alongside my brother, I don’t fear having a child with a similar issue. Kids born with disabilities are, in entirely un-inspirational terms, normal. The biggest obstacle I fear for a kid with a disability is other kids. In elementary school everyone knew better than to be openly cruel, but there’s a vast distance between not-bullying a kid and recognizing them as one of us .